so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
