My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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