He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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