it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
