nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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