both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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