i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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