Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
