so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
