am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
