i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
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Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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