I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
