You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
