i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
