2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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