he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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