Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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