3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
