I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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