yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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