HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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