my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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