is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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