I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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