best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize