just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
