you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
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Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
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Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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