so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
