At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
