Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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