I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
