Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
