i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
