I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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