can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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