i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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