DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
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There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
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When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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