I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
