I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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