Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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