Too much gin, very little bucket
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
