Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
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I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
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i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize