yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
