First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
