I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize