I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
