The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
