i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
