im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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