That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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