also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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