Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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