bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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