I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
