i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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