So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
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