THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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